What to Expect When You Are Not Expecting

I woke up expecting my day would consist of my first therapy appointment, work, and a walk with a friend. Instead, I woke up with an LH surge. On cycle day 11. Which makes no sense, given my typical cycles. So I run to the therapy appointment and lovely partner calls to schedule the IUI. Our plans for the next couple days look totally different. We are going to the first one tonight, but I'm not optimistic. I think the LH is tricking us, and I still won't ovulate until later. But how mad would I be if I woke up with a high temp tomorrow? I'm also not encouraged about my chance for success with a day 12 follicle.. My sense is that an early follicle wouldn't be as viable. And, despite the LH and some CM, I don't feel like I'm ovulating. Every month I tell myself I can't control the timing and that I need to let it go. And every month, I can't believe how much the timing seems to suck.

Therapy was okay. I didn't feel tons better. I didn't feel any worse. I think I conveyed how stressed TTC has been. But I don't think I expressed how pointless my life has started to feel. I dont think that a life without children is pointless. But I feel like nothing in my life holds very much interest for me, except having a baby. This could be depression talking.

For example, I keep having this thought that I don't want to celebrate holidays this year. My thought process is something like "What is the point of doing this stuff without my kid here"
That isn't even rational. I've always liked holidays and never had a kid for them.
I'm sure part of it is that I was supposed to be 8 months pregnant at Christmas. And I am zero months nothing.

Regardless, I actually don't want to feel like this about my life, baby or no baby. That is what I am hoping therapy can help with.

So, seriously, I've got to get ready for an IUI now. What should I wear? I used to try to dress up or wear something significant. But tonight, I am totally wearing sweatpants. You know, because I am SURE that will make the outcome different.