Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Cause to Laugh

It seems like a lot of people say that the nine months fly by when you are pregnant. At almost 10 weeks, I am finding this to not be the case. Its going so slooooooow. If at nine months I write that the time flew by, I will be sure to title that post "I was wrong"

I'm getting used to feeling pregnant but it doesn't seem connected to having a baby yet. I'm not sure if I can think of the baby with a name, as much as I wanted to try Huckleberry. Maybe after the 11 week ultrasound?

I've been tired and queasy but it hasn't been too awful. My Mom came to visit for the weekend and we told her the news, thinking we wouldn't be able to hide it all weekend. We went out to dinner to celebrate and as we left the restaurant I threw up. On the street. In front of a restaurant. In public. So gross. So, anyway, good thing we told her!

To break the news, Lovely Partner made a card with the bible verse from Genesis where Sarah finds out she is pregnant. (Genesis 21:6) Biblical Sarah says "God has given me cause to laugh" LP and I are non- religious Unitarians, but my Mom is Catholic so we thought she would appreciate it.

It was a very good night, even with the public throwing up.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Huckleberry's Heartbeat

I saw it today. It was a shock. I didn't think they would be able to do that. We weren't even supposed to get an ultrasound but Dr. PositiveandCool said we could. I think because we talked to Nurse ASL (she signed to me, awesome!) about the miscarriage.

While being wanded, I looked away from the screen and watched Lovely Partners face. She nodded affirmatively but I thought "What the heck does she know about reading an ultrasound?" Then I heard Dr. PositiveandCool say "Yep, there is the heartbeat." And I looked, and I saw it. A living thing with a heartbeat, inside of me. It measured 6W5D and I'm exactly 7W. I felt scared for a second when I saw that but Dr. PositiveandCool said that it was totally fine. And the heartbeat kept flickering.

All I could think all afternoon was "Its alive!" Because even though this has felt different then when I miscarried, I still didn't have a positive association with ultrasounds when I went in today.

I am also so grateful to Dr. PandC and Nurse ASL for being incredibly wonderful and supportive of LP and our relationship. They went out of their way to let us know and it felt great.

It has felt real to be pregnant, because physically I feel odd. But it hasn't felt real that a baby is the result. So I'm trying to let that sink in. So we are going to start calling him/her Huckleberry. Since my appointment this afternoon, I am working on feeling okay and not bashful about giving it a nickname.

And I must say, I was really proud of Huck today!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Vomit (and there was much rejoicing)

Well, I'm feeling sick. I threw up, which is gross but not nearly as gross as the excessive saliva I am experiencing. Its been an on and off again kind of sick, which I am hoping is normal and okay. I actually threw up two days ago and haven't since, although yesterday was the sickest I have felt. I was at my desk, baffled that pregnant women go to work every day. And then today was better, but not great. I'm trying not to worry since I feel...something. Last time, I felt pregnant for about two days and normal thereafter. So this feeling worse is much better for me. The first doctor appointment is Thursday (7 weeks). I have no idea what a seven week appointment would be like.

I hope its good news!