Maternity leave is officially over. This is permanent. Lovely and I did the math, we can't pay our student loans and fertility debt unless we are both working. Hell, we can't even if we are both working. There is no way around daycare, right now. (I'm not against daycare at all, I just personally want to be home with my baby)
So I leave my Sunshine in the morning and pick her up at night. First I hand over my baby, then I hand over my money. It is a double blow. The absurdity of this situation never ceases to amaze me. And I know the childcare worker is underpaid, as well.
So I don't hate my babysitter, really. I'm jealous of all the time she spends with my baby.
We are lucky that my sister has agreed to be the live-in babysitter for January. Beyond lucky. She is gifted with babies and I get to see her so much more. She got laid off so I know I should be thankful that I have a job. Lots of people are losing theirs.
Little Sunshine seems okay with the adjustment. She smiles and coos and seems in a good mood most of the time. However, she has discovered the joys of reverse cycling. This is when a baby decides to nurse often during the night, typically after a Mom returns to work. (I read about it on go.ogle, so it must be true) She used to sleep in pleasant 7-8 hours stretches, now we are lucky to get three. This started exactly when I returned to work. I researched what I should do about this and my favorite advice was "Take reverse cycling as a compliment from your baby." I do my best to feel flattered at 12 a.m., 3 a.m. and 6a.m.
One good thing is that (for now) I am less stressed about every little thing Sunshine is doing. For one thing, I have less time to search the internet. But mostly its because problems seem temporary when babies change so damn fast. My internet search history already has "Baby won't nurse" "Baby nurses constantly" "Baby won't take bottle" "Baby takes too much bottle" "Baby sleeps too much" "Baby doesn't sleep enough." I honestly can't keep up. I'm just gonna hang on and assume that while I am writing about reverse cycling today, I might be writing about the opposite situation next week. Is there such thing as forward cycling?
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4 comments:
I'm sorry you have to work, that would break my heart.
First, I love your new heading!! Second, I'm so glad your sister is there, though I'm sorry, sorry, sorry that you are back to work. Ugh. Thinking of you. Hoping to get to see you sometime soon ... !
If you need a great way to find a nanny or babysitter
Check out www.nannies4hire.com and www.babysitters4hire.com It can save a family thousands of dollears compared to using a agency. That is how I hire my help. Best of luck with your sister.
The end of maternity leave is so hard... Its wonderful that at least you have your sister there. I would have LOVED a competant family member to take care of M for me. But at least here in canada, you get a full year (with at least partial pay of 55%-- I got 75% of my income, as my employer tops me up) I remember the anxiety (and also the smidge of relief) I felt when I headed back to work. I appreciated the independence (eating and peeing whenever I wanted) but missed my baby more than I could imagine. And I still feel that way. And he is almost 3... But it did get better. And now its the "new normal". And he has always loved daycare, so maybe I just need to learn to love working a bit more...
I send big hugs to you...
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