Huckleberry's Heartbeat

I saw it today. It was a shock. I didn't think they would be able to do that. We weren't even supposed to get an ultrasound but Dr. PositiveandCool said we could. I think because we talked to Nurse ASL (she signed to me, awesome!) about the miscarriage.

While being wanded, I looked away from the screen and watched Lovely Partners face. She nodded affirmatively but I thought "What the heck does she know about reading an ultrasound?" Then I heard Dr. PositiveandCool say "Yep, there is the heartbeat." And I looked, and I saw it. A living thing with a heartbeat, inside of me. It measured 6W5D and I'm exactly 7W. I felt scared for a second when I saw that but Dr. PositiveandCool said that it was totally fine. And the heartbeat kept flickering.

All I could think all afternoon was "Its alive!" Because even though this has felt different then when I miscarried, I still didn't have a positive association with ultrasounds when I went in today.

I am also so grateful to Dr. PandC and Nurse ASL for being incredibly wonderful and supportive of LP and our relationship. They went out of their way to let us know and it felt great.

It has felt real to be pregnant, because physically I feel odd. But it hasn't felt real that a baby is the result. So I'm trying to let that sink in. So we are going to start calling him/her Huckleberry. Since my appointment this afternoon, I am working on feeling okay and not bashful about giving it a nickname.

And I must say, I was really proud of Huck today!